‘Troll 2’: OH MY GAAAAAHD, a review

Since the dawn of the YouTube era, several clips and gifs from 1990 B-Movie classic “Troll 2” have made their way to numerous Facebook walls and Twitter feeds.

But how many people have actually sat through the film? For the sake of humanity, we hope not many. But for those who enjoy bad movie magic, this one is hard to beat.

The film is centered around a family — namely the most annoying young boy you’ll ever encounter, Joshua (Michael Stephenson) — that travels to a town called Nilbog (eye-roll) where goblins turn their victims into plants, and eat them. A witch (Deborah Reed) is also in the mix helping said goblins, as the “ghost” of Joshua’s grandfather (Robert Ormsby) helps our protagonists through a number of hilarious interactions with the boy.

The film was apparently dubbed “Goblins” during production, but distributers decided to try to market it as the sequel to the 1986 Empire Pictures film “Trolls” — a completely unrelated flick. Thus, we have “Troll 2,” a film about goblins.

“Troll 2” is one of those films in the pantheon of bad movies, next to other greats like “The Room” and “Samurai Cop.” Not only are all components of this movie bad, most of them are funny-bad.

The movie includes actors attempting to be frozen in time but still visibly moving, victims turned into a Shamrock Shake-like substance, a “sexy” death-by-popcorn scene and some of the goofiest and most over-the-top costumes and makeup on this side of the 1970s.

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Also, we would be remiss not to mention the wonderfully horrid performances. From the witch, to the people-eating goblins to Mr. “Oh my god” himself (Darren Ewing), this film has some truly memorable bad performances.

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The movie is so chaotic at some points that it can be maddening, but hey, this isn’t “Good Movie World.” We enjoy the suffering.

Three-and-a-half Cages for “Troll 2.” And five Cages for the internet for making such lovely memes/gifs out of this film.

We’ll be digging further into this madness with a Top 10 Moments list soon. You haven’t escaped Nilbog just yet…

What did you think of “Troll 2?” Give us a shout and help us find out.

Cage O’ Meter: img_0014-8img_0014-8img_0014-8img_0055

Where to watch: Amazon Prime (rent: $3.99; buy: $13.99).

 

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