“Twilight” is composed of many mediocre moments and characters. Here is our top 10 list:
10. Derek Trucks Vampire
Ok, so I guess his name is actually James or something, but we really enjoy this young ponytail’s mediocre villainy. He decided he was going to take out Bella after smelling her at a baseball game ( totes normal, right?), and ends up getting torn up and burned. Sorry Derek, maybe stick to guitar.
9. Bella’s dad prepares to meet the boyfriend
This is actually a pretty funny moment. But, alas for him, bullets won’t work on ol’ twinkle toes.
8. Pre-steroids Taylor Lautner.
Back when he was still a bit dweebish.
7. Kristen Stewart being awkward
Kate McKinnon did a dead-on impression of Kristen on SNL recently. Somehow she did it better.
6. Edward creeping
Edward Cullen is creepy for 105 percent of this film. Sure, R -Pat is a looker, but Edward’s creepiness….come on. It’s not a good look.
5. Edward watching Bella sleep
It never stops.
4. EDWARD WATCHING BELLA SLEEP
Are you noticing the trend yet?
3. All that tree jumpin’
This is obviously a ripoff of “Empire Strikes Back,” without the obvious sex appeal of Yoda. Oh, and very meh CGI.
2. The Cullens
What a strange, strange family.
1. Vampire baseball
It was always vampire baseball, despite the fact that our heroes seem to have a very loose grasp of the rules. Plus, there’s almost a brawl. Still waiting for the “ESPN 30 for 30” on this game.