Any time Seal is on the soundtrack, you know you have a winner.
“Batman Forever” (1995) was difficult to process as a bad movie, as it was my everything in about 1999. I’ll never forget the wrinkled and warn VHS case that housed my favorite movie. I watched it so many times I still have it memorized.
And as bad as it is, it sure is fun.
Val Kilmer takes over the reins as Bruce Wayne/Batman in this sort-of sequel to the Tim Burton installments (which are some of the best). After The Riddler (Jim Carrey) and Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones) make a deal, Batman has to take them both out. Along the way, Robin (Chris O’Donnell) joins the party as the oldest-looking teenager of all time.
Carrey and Jones carry the movie. They are hilarious, and every moment they are onscreen is a blast. Their horrible one-liners are also quite enjoyable, mainly because of their reaction to their own jokes.
Everything about this movie is over-the-top. From the colors, to the costumes, to the acting, to the dialogue, this movie is much like reading a very simplistic comic book. Plus, the Christopher Nolan movies make this one look like a third-grade Halloween party.
The one exception to the general aesthetic is Val Kilmer. He’s very dark and brooding, and occasionally a bit awkward. Especially his weird smile after he kisses his love interest. Ew.
Speaking of love interests, Dr. Chase Meridian (Nicole Kidman) makes her desire to bed the bat known in the first five minutes of the movie. She’s a useless character, there only to give batman a face to kiss and a dame to rescue (that isn’t Robin).
This film gets really dull at some points, so be prepared to zone. Really, any scene that is based around dialogue, plot development or romance is pretty cringe-worthy.
Anything I’m forgetting? Oh, the ass shot. In the second “suit-up” scene. Don’t forget about the ass sh0t. #batbutt
In the end, this movie is a good time, with or without booze. It gets three Cages from us.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Seal.
Main Author: Brandon Semler
Where to Watch: YouTube, Google Play, Amazon Prime, DVD/Blu-Ray