5 items necessary for bad movie survival.

As we all know, bad movies can be tough to get through. Films like “The Wicker Man” and “Ride Along 2” can cause a mere mortal to throw his or her hands up to the gods, asking “why does this exist?”

However, bad movie connoiseurs know how to survive the nuclear winter of a movie bomb with minimal mental scarring. Using survival techniques passed down through the generations, or through I nternet articles like this, they learned how to pull through.

These 5 items will help you to survive bad cinema:

1. Beer

To quote the heavy metal wisemen Psychostick, “beer is good, n’ stuff.” Beer is the key ingridient to making it through horrible acting, God-awful stories and miserable production value. The cheaper the better. Horrid beer goes way better with bad films than good beer; the flavors compliment one another.

2. Pizza

It’s the best of the foods. No further explanation needed.

3. Towel

A towel is essential to getting through a bad movie. It can be used to mute your screams of agony, or whip your friend Jared, who suggested the movie. It can also be rolled up like a pillow in the event of a bore fest.

4. Your “WWNCD” bracelet

Your “What Would Nic Cage Do” bracelet will bring you luck and strength.

5. Smartphone

You will inevitably need to look up just how poorly the film is rated on Rotten Tomatoes, and other information to help you solve the puzzle of how this monstrosity was even made.

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