‘Killer Klowns from Outer Space’: a grand time at the circus

For those of you who are worried about running into freaky, violent, alien clowns, this film offers a simple means of defense: take out the nose.

Yes, it works much like blasting the head off a zombie, or firing a round into the monster’s open mouth in a first-person monster hunt video game. Shoot, puncture, or destroy the clown’s honking red nose, and the alien clown explodes. Plus, you’ll avoid being turned into cotton candy.

This ONLY applies to ALIEN CLOWNS. Alien clowns in a movie.

Goodness, I’m getting ahead of myself. Happy Halloween, all you purveyors of terrible cinema! We have a treat for you in this installment. And it’s from the 1980’s no less, with all of its hair-sprayed glory. Behold, the pie-wielding terrors from beyond our planet, the “Killer Klowns from Outer Space”!

Right off the bat (Halloween pun intended), we must say, this movie is a great example of someone having a great vision for a film, having a bad acid trip at the circus and developing a lifelong fear of clowns, and then scrapping the first film idea and writing a screenplay about murderous clowns.

But in all seriousness, this film succeeds because it knows how ridiculous it is and it just builds and builds upon its absurd premise with more and more ridiculous scenarios.

From knocking off bikers’ heads, to killing strangers with a shadow puppet, and turning the unbelievably giant-asshole-of-a-police-officer into a ventriloquist dummy after, or course, killing him (don’t worry).

These clowns are far more entertaining and grotesque than real-life clowns. One them even resembles John Goodman a bit.

And it’s not even just the clowns; at least one other character is genuinely entertaining. John Vernon’s character Officer Mooney was funny as hell to watch, if only because he was a raging asshole.

From mocking the younger officer and drinking on the job to threatening violence to people held in custody and blatantly ignoring phone calls because he thought everyone was trying to “prank him” (no, they were just being viciously murdered by clowns), Officer Mooney was a scene stealer.

Most characters were bland and cliche, but I found I still oddly cared for their well-being. Obviously, the ridiculousness of the movie takes away any stakes, but I still wanted to see them avoid the guns that would spin them into a cotton candy. Or acid pies. Those deadly baked treats will get you every time.

This movie earns a LARGE four Cages on the Cage ‘O Meter because, although it definitely isn’t a perfect bad movie (ie. Battlefield Earth), it still surpasses many of its mediocre brethren.

And it’s also the perfect nightmare fuel for those of us who do not like clowns. And, for those of you who do run into alien clowns in an 80’s movie, you know what to do.

Main authors: Brandon Semler and Jared Kirk

Where to Watch: Amazon Prime, Youtube, DVD/Blu-Ray

Cage O’Meter: birth-control-jpegbirth-control-jpegbirth-control-jpegbirth-control-jpeg

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