Six Things So Wrong (and So Horribly Right) with 2004’s ‘Catwoman’

If 1997’s masterpiece of trash cinema “Batman & Robin” invented the big schlocky comic book disaster, 2004’s “Catwoman” is its spiritual sequel. Having more in common with “Days of Our Lives” than with the Dark Knight, it’s pure catnip for the garbage-loving enthusiasts among us. In short, it’s a movie about an introverted woman finding…

“Sharknado”: stupidity defined

To say that this film is brainless is an incredibly easy thing to do. However, “Sharknado” intends it fully, and isn’t afraid to be laughed at. This film helped to usher on a new wave of b-movies for us to enjoy, so for that, we are grateful. At its core, Syfy’s unlikely TV-movie hit is…

‘Twilight’: our top 10 worst moments

“Twilight” is composed of many mediocre moments and characters. Here is our top 10 list: 10. Derek Trucks Vampire Ok, so I guess his name is actually James or something, but we really enjoy this young ponytail’s mediocre villainy. He decided he was going to take out Bella after smelling her at a baseball game…

‘American Poltergeist’: a horror of incompetence

Looking for a film with the incompetence of “The Room” without the humor, attempting to be a horror? Look no further. “American Poltergeist” is one of the worst horror movies we have seen, and probably one of the worst ever made. Keep in mind that Jared went to see “The Grudge 2” in theaters when…

‘Twilight’: working the sulk

Be still, our throbbing hormones. Today, we reminisce on an awkward, alto high school girl and her pale vampire boyfriend, who’s stalking tendencies she somehow finds endearing. That’s right kids; it’s “Twilight.” Excluding the gaggles of high school bloodsuckers that rushed to the theater for the 2008 film, “Twilight” generally has a a poor reputation, and…

‘USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage’: a film that can be missed

  It took a hell of a lot of courage to sit through this one. Featuring early Playstation 2-quality CGI, acting as lukewarm as room temperature and yet another phoned in performance from The Cage, “USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage” is a film that can surely be missed. We’re not trying to belittle the subject matter…

Play ‘Manos: The Hands of Fate’ as a video game!

Have you seen the movie “Manos: The Hands of Fate?” Probably not; its an obscure “horror” movie from 1966 starring people you’ve never heard of, and was directed and stars a fertilizer salesman. However, if you have seen the film it is doubtlessly because of it’s reputation as one of the worst films ever made,…

‘Manos: Hands of Fate’ review

Behold, Manos, your loyal servants await you! Doth thou commandeth us to honor your divinity with a sacrifice? Well, can we please sacrifice ourselves, because we’re not sure how we’re going to live with ourselves after watching your horrid movie. There are many things wrong with “Manos: The Hands of Fate,” (1966) so it isn’t really…

‘The Marine’: we can see you, and you’re terrible

Remember when John Cena wasn’t cracking jokes as an actor; when he was the joke? We were just reminded of that lovely period. For those of you who don’t know, back before he redeamed himself with hilarious turns in both “Trainwreck” and “Sisters,” John Cena’s filmography was mostly cliched action movies or other unforgettable messes….

‘Death Race 2050’: a reboot no one asked for

For all it’s camp and cheesiness, the original “Death Race 2000” was actually a pretty good movie. And what’s more, for a 40 year-old film, it really stands up to the test of time. However, “Roger Corman’s Death Race 2050” is only a few months old, and already positioned in the trash heap of history where…

What we’re hoping for in ‘Best F(R)iends’

Guess who’s back? Back again? Tommy’s back. Tell your friends. That’s right, a trailer was released back in October 2016 for a thriller starring the not-so-dynamic duo, Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero, made infamous by “The Room.” Just judging by the film’s title, “Best F(R)iends,” it would appear viewers will once again be in for…

‘Death Race 2000’: our quick U-turn

Alright, we’ve got to admit right off the bat that “Death Race 2000” (1975) surprised us in more ways than one. But the most important surprise, at least in terms of this blog, was that is wasn’t actually a bad movie. The cult classic is set a dystopian future, featuring a cross-country automobile race that…